you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
