It's Friday. Sex?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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