I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
