ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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