where am i from again
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There's always time for handjobs
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
