Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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