My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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