That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
