You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
