just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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