That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
