You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
