Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
