Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
