If i come over, it means nothing
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
