That's intense
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
