This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
