if i can run in heels then i can drive
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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