my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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