You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
