Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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