It's Friday. Sex?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
