If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
