So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
