i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
