I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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