I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
