its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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