Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sober January is a disaster.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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