Cold hands, warm shart.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
