god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
