Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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