I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
