How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
