I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
