her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
