Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
