I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
