My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
