never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
