Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
