Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
