Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
