I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
kristin has been a bad kristin
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
