I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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