I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
