do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
