oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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