Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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