my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
