just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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