I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
